The energy is building.....Solstice Weekend

This is possibly the biggest month of this year energetically due the Solstice, the arrival of the New Moon and the Solar Eclipse. 

I think it is safe to say: It is all happening... Within us and outside of us. 

This Solstice weekend has the potential for a massive clearing of that was is no longer in alignment with us. We can finally let go of the old 3D time lines and align ourselves with the 5D time lines.

It really is not possible any more to hide anything away or hide FROM anything. If we continue to resist looking at and getting to know our shadows, then we better be prepared for a massive cosmic slap if there ever was one...

Every one of us has a divine purpose and we are called forth NOW to use our gifts and talents! You are a light worker, who has chosen to be on this planet at this time of transformation so you can assist with this process. 

YES!!! That’s you! Please don’t be afraid of your power any longer, to ruffle feathers, to let go of old relationships and to take those leaps of faith. We really don’t have time for petty games and bulls....... anymore. 

We are in the middle of a radical shift, which doesn’t leave any stone unturned. Don’t be afraid of what you will find. It is all part of the collective consciousness and so more courageous and honest we are with ourselves so more we can heal on a collective level. 

Stay in your centre, receive those light codes that are offered to us right now and ground them into the Earth through your physical body. If old energies are moving through your field, then let them do that, observe what is happening without judgment, rest as much as you need to and know that this too shall pass. And if you can fully surrender, then you will rise up and fly...

Stay present and connect with your tribe. Together we are strong!

I won’t go into more details regarding the astrology, as there are many people who have a much better understanding of this. But I can highly recommend https://foreverconscious.com and  https://www.mysticmamma.com

“On this new journey that is slowly unfolding, more people will begin to awaken and tap into abilities they never knew they had. The discovery of these abilities will help to shift and change how we approach things as a society. While we will feel this on an individual level, there is a greater sense here that this more about the collective and the journey of the planet as a whole.” https://foreverconscious.com 

Happy Solstice!!!!

When you let go of fear…🦋

Brave Soul 🌟

It is very clear to me, that at any time, but especially during our beautiful re-set on this planet for the last 2-3 months, every single soul has chosen a different experience for this life time.

The way we experience the pandemic range from bliss to despair, from feeling recharged to being exhausted with anxiety and worry; the believers in doom and gloom and those who are ecstaticly excited about what lays ahead, pass each other (possibly with a 2 meter distance) in each moment during walks in the park, on the streets, in their homes. There are those who know every statistic and all of the scientific ins and outs. There are those who don’t watch any news and actually feel uncomfortable with certain conversations.

There is no right or wrong. So if you encounter someone, who lives in fear, please hold space for them. Don’t react to the triggers, when they are trying to defend whatever their positions or belief systems are and possibly judge you for being uninformed and ignorant.

Be present and don’t take anything personally. It is not about you. Every soul on earth experiences this transition in exactly the way that is most conducive for their awakening. There are many realities. The reality you choose will answer your inner needs and desires.

These are times of the unknown. The only thing that is really given, is this moment, is the Now. From the well of the Now, countless possible roads are springing, an infinite web of possible futures. If you choose fear in this moment, then the roads that are springing from this place are paved with fear and will lead you into an even more terrifying future.

Thankfully there is always the other option, which is to salute the world as she comes into being with love and trust in your heart. In every moment make a very conscious choice. Remember what helps you to choose love and do more of that and at the same time cut out the activities and people, that drain your energy and leave you worried.

In my opinion we have received a gift helping us to remember and not a curse...However you decide for yourself. It is YOUR experience, and it is all perfect. See the bigger picture. All is well!

“We are the circle of timeless human beings.

Where others are sleeping we are awake.

Where others suffer in anguish we soar in ecstasy.

We are the place where the world is always celebrated.

We are queuing up nights before the event.

Camping out before the world awakens.

Our hearts are aflame with the tears of our knowing.

Risk takers, celestial vagabonds, Lonesome cosmic gipsies, teller of tales, liver of fables, the wanderers through the sacred halls of incarnation. Welcome to the New Dawn.” https://genekeys.com/courses/the-ecstatics/)

You are undying souls on a cosmic adventure of creation. Let go of fear.... Be in your heart. NOW is the time to create your empowered forever ❤️

Your Inner Child ✨🌈✨

After having worked with many people over the years and of course have been confronted with my own Inner Child wounding many times, I can't emphasise enough how important it is to connect with and listen to our Inner Children.

Especially in this time of living in the unknown, being restricted in our freedom and bombarded with mostly terrifying news, we can easily feel overwhelmed by our emotions, we might feel unsafe, hurt, afraid, unloved and often a little lost. Emotions represent our Inner Child, that in many of us is crying out loud right now.

Through the way we have been brought up and what is "socially acceptable" we have a whole set of judgements about our own emotions, we don't allow ourselves to feel them, we think we are "pathetic" to express them, because in the grand scheme of things we have nothing to complain about, and/or we have been told that it is not ok to express strong emotions such as anger, grief, sadness etc.

An emotion however does not disappear, but when being unexpressed it will remain and create disturbances in your emotional body and for your Inner Child. Over time this emotion becomes a bigger and bigger energy and therefore much harder to release. The density of it increases and leads to depression and other illnesses.

Rather than suppressing your emotions, allow them in, accept how you are feeling and take responsibility for your emotions without going into the victim mentality. Very strong emotions are said to last only a few seconds and you can let them move through you. Don't fight them, don't make them wrong, don't make yourself wrong. Recognise them as what they are, an energy that wants to express itself. It is also important not to get addicted to these strong emotions by hanging onto them and making them your reality. (Read about the Painbody by Eckhart Tolle)

Connect with your Inner Child on a daily basis by imagining a young child and feel the presence of this pure being, which lets its emotions flow through them without self-judgement and self-doubt.

This child stands for innocence, playfulness, creativity, spontaneity and so much more and has not yet been corrupted by the mind. These are qualities, that you might have forgotten about whilst being busy being an adult. Let this child be your guide, and ask them what they need from you in this moment. Take them into your arms and tell them that they are loved and safe. Let them know that everything is welcome and that you don't reject anything about them.

Make nothing wrong and surround whatever is there with love and compassion. Love every part of you!

Beloved Child of the Earth ⭐️

Beloved Child of the Earth ✨🌎❤️

In you shines an inner sun, the light of the stars. It’s a fire of creativity, that wants to be embodied here on Earth.

But this energy has been manipulated by the mind without being rooted in the Earth.

It got out of control, consuming and destroying our planet in order to gain power. We have been in opposition with nature leading humanity to a disconnected and lonely existence.

We now have the chance to wake up from this nightmare. Only by bringing our Earth and Star Energy into balance can we create a beautiful future for our children, a New Earth.

Many people talk about saving Mother Earth, but this can almost be considered as an arrogant view point... As Wizard Keith Wilson would say: “The earth is a multi-dimensional being expressing herself in physical form and you think she needs saving by you?” It is much more about trusting in the power of Mother Earth as “nature is the invisible face of spirit”.

It is time to release the cosmic loneliness, that we all know so well, linking our star energy with the energy of the earth. Then we will find true abundance in all aspects of our lives, remembering who we are and inspiring others by speaking our truth and walking our path.

Embrace the earth element in yourself again and merge with the Earth. Let go of excessive thinking, trying to make sense, intellectualising, wanting to be right. These are futile games of the mind Find your trust again. Mother Earth flows through you. Listen to your body as the soul of the earth speaks through your body.

Do not limit yourself when it comes to finding your joy and passion. Pay attention to the little things in your life you enjoy as they will point you towards what you want to manifest in this time of the new dawn.

Where your star light touches the earth a spark ignites and Mother Earth can express herself through you.

Be a child of the earth again! Let us collectively in partnership with Mother Earth create a New Earth that we are all longing for so much.

Happy Earth Day beautiful Beacons of Light.

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination ❤️ Hamaima 🌟

Post inspired by Channel Pamela Kribbe 🙏 Photo taken by Tamara Josephine 🙏

The Beauty of Conspiracy Theories...

The other option is to focus on the positive news and those who hold the highest frequency of light, helping you to see the bigger picture. Don’t be ignorant of those who struggle and are living in fear, but rather have the deepest compassion for them and keep your own vibration high, so they can benefit from it. 

There are always plenty around, but we are flooded with them right now, when everyone is trying to make sense out of a let’s say “unusual situation” 

Remember that you have a choice in everything. You can choose to get involved in the “lower levels” of conspiracy, which most likely will leave you fearful, disempowered, hopeless and confused. That then leads to you vibrating on a low frequency which will affect not only your own wellbeing, but that of the whole collective. 

That doesn’t sound very helpful for anyone, right?Also, don’t feel guilty about being ok with it all or actually quite enjoying your little bubble and this “collective retreat”. Be grateful and make offerings to Mother Earth to restore balance. 

Again, the biggest contribution you can make right now and always is keeping your vibes high, working on yourself and looking at permanent changes that you can make as an individual, that will have a positive impact on the planet and her people. 

No one can make sense of this situation, no one knows how long this will last and what long lasting changes we will see. 

If the conspiracy theories are really bugging you and you keep getting confronted with them, then that’s also a choice you are making, right? 

Maybe your soul chooses to focus on this right now in order to learn about discernment, to remember and trust your own inner wisdom and to no longer give your power away to anything or anyone! 

What makes your heart feel good? It doesn’t matter what is it. Don’t question it, just do as much of it as you can! 

And always remember...You are loved beyond your wildest imagination ❤️

Hamaima - Where the heart of the Universe is born 

This is all for you ⭐️

There are two different ways of viewing the current situation we find ourselves in on this planet right now: 

One is fear based as we feel anxious about the unknown. What is going to happen? How will we survive? We buy into the conspiracy theories and the belief system that “dark forces” are behind it all. 

The other way is the understanding that all is love and that we are receiving a great gift right now. We have the realisation that everything is happening just for us and through us.

We all experience this situation through our own filters depending on our belief systems, how we live, the work we do, the circles we move in...

The perfect scenario has been created (or better, we have created it ourselves) to get us exactly to the point and place where we need to be. 

Through the choices we make now more than ever we create our own reality. 

Considering the chaotic state our planet and her people have been in, a divine intervention was necessary and overdue. On a collective soul level we have agreed on something that would bring everything to a hold; in this case the corona virus. 

And it really doesn’t matter if it’s all blown out of proportion or whichever “forces” we think might be involved.... All of it has been perfectly orchestrated to give every single one of us exactly what we need. 

The lock downs will bring us to our core wounding possibly more intensely than ever and we will start to see the insanity of the way we have lived our lives. 

Yesterday in a beautiful woodland in my home country Germany I lay in the arms of Mother Earth, hysterically laughing and crying at the same time about the cosmic joke, re-visiting my cosmic birth trauma once again, remembering.... who I am.

Laughing at myself (with compassion) about all the hang ups, the heart breaks, the disagreements I have had. Laughing at and forgiving my judgment of myself and others, recognising that behind all of it is a little girl, that feels at times unloved, unworthy, lonely and fragile. She is looking for someone or something to make her feel whole again. 

But! There is only me in the whole wide universe and at the same time there is only you experiencing everything in your own beautiful way. Nothing else. You are everything and nothing at the same time. A paradox if there has ever been one. 

We are in charge of it all. All it comes down to is you and when you look at the complexity of it all, then it really is awe inspiring. 

However it does not have to be complex at all. Actually it is pretty simple once we get back into tune with the rhythm of the earth and the cycles of the moon. 

All of the teachings I have received over the last 10 years have just integrated a little bit more. I have understood what it is that makes me happy, what I am yearning for and where my home is. 

And after living a Nomadic life style more or less since 2015 I am beyond excited about going home. 

I have everything I need and I was fortunate enough to spend time with indigenous people from many different traditions. But for now there is only one place I want to be, to integrate, to share, to live a simple life amongst my tribe in harmony with nature. 

I am wishing you from the bottom of my heart that you will take this time to go within, to be able to come to your own realisations of what parts of you still need healing. Do not be afraid of what you might find as there really is nothing to fear. 

Many struggle right now and I totally want to acknowledge the difficult situation you might find yourself in. But know that this too shall pass and that you can transmute and use the grief and struggle as a portal for transformation.
I recently received a message from Mother Earth, which hopefully you find helpful. 

Message from Mother Earth

Be grounded 

Be strong 

Be yourself 

Hold space for your inner child and others who might be in fear

Share your energy in a way that feels natural to you 

Be free of judgement as all experiences are equally valid and beautiful 

Keep speaking to me, singing to me, laying on me, praying for me, caring for me 

I know what I am doing 

I am at a point in my evolution where I re-balance my energies and take my power back

You are my child and I love you very much

So most importantly please forgive yourself and have patience.  

Take this time to look at the aspects in you that feel separate. There is a loneliness in you,  a feeling that you don’t belong here, but let me tell you, for now you do! 

And all souls who have incarnated at this time of the prophecies belong here, too, as they have significant parts to play in my transformation and the transformation of Humankind. 

Dear child. Stay present, stay in your heart and know that you are loved and safe. All is well.

Please reach out to me if you need support. 

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination ❤️ 

Please forgive me 🔥

Beautiful soul ✨🌈❤️

This has been a massive year and an even bigger decade for all of us. And we have made it! This is it. Take time to look back and reflect on how far you have come my dear friend. 

Fly high in the sky and take the eagle perspective so you can see the bigger picture. It all will become clearer and you will marvel at the perfection of creation and yourself as the creator/creatrix.

Everything is here FOR us .....The trials and tribulations, the joy and the ecstasy and all the in-betweens. Stay present, be kind and compassionate, forgive yourself and don’t take anything personally. 

Remember the agreements you have made before you incarnated into this Human form. One skin after the other is shedding now and the energies are supporting this or better are urging us to do so. You won’t be able to hide from your Self and fool your Self any longer. Trust me, it will be much easier to let go and enjoy the ride amongst the members of your tribe.

My life has changed significantly over the last 10 years. I have changed my career and life style and I have lived half of the decade as a Nomad. I got married and separated (twice).

I have studied different spiritual traditions in many places, have made those teachings my own if they resonated and let go of them if they didn’t anymore.

Friends, teachers and collaborators have come and gone. 

I have made mistakes as well as beautiful contributions. 

I have laughed, I have cried, I have loved and I have held grudges. I have experienced ecstasy and total despair. 

I have projected my wounding onto others and have been projected onto many times.

I have shown mercy and grace and have lashed out to defend myself.

I have given my power away to spiritual teachers and have claimed it back. My spirit was tamed only to be set free and be even wilder than before. 

“I have drunk with the Shamans, I sat with the Buddhas from the Amazon to the East.
I sang in temples of all persuasions
looking for that sweet release. 
Spiritual warrior, celestial spirit 
Just travelling through... Witnessing and waiting patiently for these divine moments of truth....” (From the song “The Journey” by Ravi)!

I have learned so much from every single soul that has been part of my journey (which all souls are really) and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for playing out your parts of our soul contracts so beautifully. 

In a recent ceremony I had an opportunity to reflect on the situations in my life that I am not necessarily so proud of.

Especially in this last year it seems that I had interactions with friends and people I worked with, in which I have not been the best I could have been and caused some pain. 

Although I feel that the final outcomes of these interactions are totally aligned with my journey and my own vibration, I recognise, that I could have handled the situations with more grace, compassion and love. 

I know that I have upset a few people this year and this has never been my intention. 

The reasons for this have either been a lack of communication, making assumptions, having high expectations, feeling personally offended or not appreciated enough and the list goes on. 

The Kali sword has possibly come out one too many times..... 

If you have been on the receiving end of this energy, then I would like to ask you sincerely for your forgiveness. Please know that I love you, I see you, I celebrate your successes and I humbly bow to you. 

Thank you for teaching me and helping me getting to know those parts of myself that might still be hidden and unloved.

I am sorry

Please forgive me 

I thank you 

I love you 

(Ho’oponopono Hawaiian Healing Prayer)

....and I take full responsibility for everything.

Hamaima - Where the heart of the Universe is born ❤️

The brilliant light of the darkness

Beautiful Soul

You might find yourself in a place of darkness right now or in a place of lightness....Wherever you might be is perfect and I am there with you. 

We are approaching the solstice, a powerful time for self-reflection and I invite you to create sacred space to do this on the 21st of December. 

All of you have shown immense courage to once again incarnate into human form despite your knowledge on a soul level, that you will most likely forget your true origin and your magic when you “land” here. 

“Notice how stubborn your joy of life must be that you have ventured once again to take the leap... Here you are in body and flesh. You again felt that longing - you are alive, you feel, you are here, and that is a miracle of love and trust. Your love, beauty and light are inexhaustible and you are carriers of Oneness on Earth”.- From the Jeshua Channelings 

You came here to continue to learn and evolve. You came here as part of the collective consciousness with your own unique vibration and purpose. 

The pain and challenges you might experience are part of a grander plan, which you have co-created before you incarnated.

But please don’t feel powerless and hopeless. 

With increased consciousness you will navigate those challenges (or better opportunities) with more ease and you will be able to see the blessings in everything you experience. 

And most importantly don’t be afraid of the darkness. 

If you want to hold a higher vibration of light you will have to visit the darkest places of your inner realm. 

As Rumi said so beautifully: “The wound is where the light enters”

Instead of going into the darkness as a victim however, go with an open courageous heart and with a trusted guide by your side. 

Go and find those abandoned parts of yourself. Visualise your fear, your shame, your guilt, your despair as neglected children. What these children want is for you to see them, love them, to no longer make them wrong, to embrace them and fully acknowledge them as parts of you, which make you the magnificent being that you are. 

Feel all those feelings in their full immensity. A short while is enough. What is needed is your acknowledgement without judgement - Your unconditional love for everything without exception. 

We are going through phases in life just as Grandmother Moon is teaching us so beautifully - death and rebirth each month. 

Please no longer shy away from looking deep within. Use the breath to surrender and go even deeper, let go.... 

Your resistance is what makes this so painful. Do not be afraid. All is made of love and everything is here for you. 

In the darkest darkness lay the seeds for the most brilliant light, a vibration so high, that you could have never dreamt of. Your potential is limitless magical beings of light. 

Mother Earth has provided us with powerful tools to do this work. Connect to this ancient wisdom and make it your own, because in your heart you are your ancestors, you are the earth, you are the sky, you are the sun and the moon. 

And most importantly you are LOVE ❤️

The (my) Divine Masculine

Beautiful eternal souls ✨🌈✨

I sat in ceremony today with one of my teachers contemplating about my so called spiritual teachers that I had or still have in my life; most of them being men. 

It has always been very important to me to have “a teacher” And the search has taken me to faraway lands. Funnily enough I never felt that anyone saw me as their student despite all of my efforts.... 

With one recent exception: Ail Ansari. Thank you ❤️

What came to me today (and it had crossed my mind before, but I ignored it, because I wasn’t ready to see this truth) is that I was looking for a father figure in those teachers. Someone who shows me new things, passes on their wisdom, teaches me with compassion and patience, praises me and is occasionally strict to help me step into my power. 

I didn’t really have a positive male role model when I grew up with my father being caught up in inner child wounding his whole life, one of my brothers being a heroin addict and my other brother wasn’t really present. 

At the age of 14 I chose a partner aged 18 and I would usually go for men, who are quite a bit older than me. 

My ex-husband is actually younger than me, but  there are aspects of him fulfilling that desire to be protected, provided for and thinking I needed an external “voice of reason”.

So when we separated at the beginning of this year it broke my heart, because more than losing a lover, I felt I had lost that “father figure”, which is very unhealthy for a romantic relationship obviously... However it always comes down to our inner child that cries out for love, wanting to feel safe and looked after. As long as that child is wounded we will play out our old stories especially in relationships. 

Today in ceremony it became very clear, what I am looking for is the divine masculine, my king, who I have been looking for outside of myself once again. 

(this entire post is inspired by my beautiful friend, priestess of Sophia - Magdalene Annabel du Boulay and her recent piece of writing about “the inner king” on Instagram @annabelduboulay)

With all the excitement about the rising of the sacred feminine, bringing her in so strongly, getting a huge Mary Magdalene serpent tattoo, holding women circles and retreats, I totally forgot about the sacred masculine. 

Actually I hadn’t only forgotten, I had made my own masculine wrong, saying it’s distorted, that I had control issues, I am too strong and uncompromising, too rigid blah, blah, blah.... 

There have been many beautiful men, brothers, friends, teachers, lovers in my life, who have been teaching me (in sometimes obvious, other times completely unexpected ways) that I have to find my divine masculine within, my inner king, feel the natural strength, the clarity, perseverance, power to express and manifest. Only with this energy can I bring my light into the world. 

There have been life times where I myself misused the male energy, no doubt, where I experimented with the energies of power and domination, followed by life times of being a victim of aggression with a resistance in my heart to defend myself.

But both masculine and feminine energies need to be in balance and therefore it is important to make peace with any previous distortions of either of those two energies. 

Who has helped me doing this most, is my ultimate teacher, my higher self which I recently named Hamaima, the spiritual name that has been given to me a few years ago (meaning: where the heart of the universe is born).

For me Hamaima stands for a place in me, a state where masculine and feminine energies complement each other, are in perfect balance and tantric union, gentle and strong at the same time. A place of universal, unconditional love where the sacred feminine and sacred masculine are interwoven in a magical eternal dance of creation.

I pray that each day a bit more I will be able to reside in this place, feel at home wherever I am, feel whole and complete in myself and most importantly know that I am loved. 
 

May we all meet in this place of perfect harmony, sit in sacred circles, enjoy each others’ company, share our stories, songs and gifts. May we love each other in these challenging times. May we be observers with the deepest compassion in our hearts, but not get involved in the dramas that are playing out right now. All is well ✨✨✨

A lover’s note ❤️

There is a yearning in my soul, that I can hardly bear

It leaves me wandering aimlessly in mind and on my feet

There is a longing in my heart that wants to be fulfilled

Holding on to my lovers only to feel more alone

My soul says: I am tired of this game, the cosmic joke is not that funny anymore and I have had enough of my own reflections

Somehow it all feels a bit pointless

However, from deep within whispers a gentle voice:

Your unique frequency is key my dear woman.

Don’t give up loving!

And the same is true for you beautiful soul.

So I shall do what I came here to do, to be present, to love and to live the beauty way.

I shall celebrate the good times and embrace the bad ones.

I shall not judge myself or others as everything is perfect as it is.

I shall merely observe with utmost compassion.

And with that I shall let go of the shore and be swept out to sea

I am carried away...

Swimming in the ocean of love once again where I am you and you are me

No more yearning, no more longing, no more questioning and trying to make sense of it all

Simply being one with source!

And you are here with me beloved soul - Hamaima ✨🌈✨

Thank you ❤️

Hello magical tribe ✨🌈✨

I have received so many beautiful emails and messages after posting my last newsletter (which was my attempt to process a traumatic experience), and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your wisdom, your support and your love with me ❤️

Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable so I could let go completely of any pretences, my masks, walls around my heart or equal bullshit that one uses expertly to keep up appearances.

I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to hear from you. Some of you I haven’t seen for many years. You told me that you still eagerly read my newsletters and that they helped you through some dark times. And I love that!

Some of you told me that you had been jealous of me previously, my travels and my freedom and now realised that we are all just trying to make sense of this exciting ride in our “human space suits” (thank you magical Jemmita Inkarri for this expression).

Everyone of us goes through tough times at certain stages in our lives and that’s just as much part of the experience than the glorious, ecstatic times of new love, when we feel totally invincible.

It is time to get real, dive deep, look at our shadows and love every part of us that we find deep inside (sometimes in awe, sometimes in shock) in equal measures.

As my beautiful friend Jo De Rosa put it recently “no more fucking around”!

It is time to share openly with each other now, to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to come out of our closets and to no longer be afraid of our magic.

When we fall, we fall! We get up, brush off the dust and try a different way. When we rise, we rise! Enjoy it and make sure you celebrate each other!

I couldn’t do what I am doing without knowing that my beautiful tribe and heart family is out there having my back.

And I love you so much!!! Thank you, thank, thank you 🙏

P.S. Since I was told it was all about fashion with me, I am trying to be even more colourful. A big WHATEVER to that one 😇

Lost……

After I had a wonderful time in the Peruvian Andes with magical Jemmita Inkarri and have come to some realisations about “spiritual seeking” (I have talked about this in my previous newsletter) I went off to do the “Maren thing” and just pushed it too much....

This time I went on a quest under the “disguise” of learning to hold space with a particular medicine and not so much for self-healing...although of course these two things always go hand in hand. 

Without much discernment or research, just by following a recommendation, I went off to a place that was ultimately “perfect” for what I had to learn, but at the same time brought me onto my knees ... (which is putting it mildly believe me). 

And what I received was a massive warning (kick up the backside) from spirit which I am only now starting to process with the help of loved ones that have been amazingly supportive from afar. Thank you so much. 

And of course it is easy to go into a victim mentality, but as we all know that’s not very helpful. Although I must say my inner child is still mortified. 

It has been interesting to listen to feedback from different sources after this experience. 

Some of it was obvious and although I hadn’t followed my own inner wisdom on this one, I totally get it and bow my head to it. 

But there was some feedback that was a little bit harder to listen to (and this is of course the most powerful one) 

And here it goes: 

With you it’s all about your image and spiritual fashion 

You try to play Shaman 

You don’t look deep inside 

I witnessed your spiritual Ego getting bigger this year after the separation from your husband 

You are lost 

You are always forcing things 

You often leave if things don’t go your way 

You don’t want to hear the truth 

10 years of intense spiritual work is not that long and you actually don’t know yourself very well 

Phew, a lot to take in, especially after I felt so awesome about myself after the pilgrimage in the Andes. 

But as we all know there is a reason for “everything” and again I bow my head in gratitude to those who are not afraid to spell out uncomfortable truths.

I have taken and will take time to deeply look at all these beautiful gifts that were given to me. 

But: (-: 

I won’t stop wearing my “spiritual fashion”, feathers in my hair and colourful jewellery and to be honest, I don’t care if people think that’s all about image, because I know deep within it’s not and I LOVE it. It makes many people (especially children) happy how I look with my Merlin coat and feathered hat....

Surely there is a part of me that wants to be noticed, but more so I want to show people that there is another way and not to care so much about what others think. Be the joy, be the love, be you! right? 

I just wanted to make that clear 😇

Thinking about it all, the comment about me being lost “hit home” the most. 

Thank you my dear friend and mentor Michael Reece for putting it this way. And although it made me a little sad, it is time to go into this feeling deeply. 

Actually, if I am totally honest it all comes down to (yet again...) wanting to be seen and loved and acknowledged. It comes down to not feeling enough, there is a lack of this and that... 

To sum it up: Giving my power away! 

I have created a life for myself with constantly moving around, being single and only seeing my friends and family fleetingly here and there, that makes it extra challenging in a way. 

I met a beautiful man this summer and it was so obvious what the universe was doing that it was almost funny! It all seemed ridiculously perfect and what we could achieve together in spreading the message of pure divine love, would just be out of this world.

After reflection, I found myself going into a similar pattern to when I met my ex-husband Kris 10 years ago. 

Which is seeing a romantic partner as the one who will make it all worth while and help me not to feel lost anymore.

Luckily (and this is not my human self talking...) this man is not available for me.

And this is because I needed to spend this year on my own. There is no “other” who will solve all my problems, who will love my inner child, gives me a purpose, the answer of where to live etc. No, no, no.... Not this time cup cake (-; 

And if you are reading this you beautiful man, then I won’t blame you if you run a mile now....Thank you ❤️

Anyway, I just had to remind myself to take a deep breath!!!!! And another one, and another one....

All is well!!!! 

I have just arrived in Antigua, Guatemala and I am about to spend three months at magical Lake Atitlan. I have some beautiful souls coming to visit to do work with me and some of my friends are coming to spend Christmas with me, which will be so awesome. 

So there you are, thank you for letting me bare my soul. I can feel your love and support through the ethers. And I am here for you always ❤️
 

Akehela Aho! All is good, thank you.

This truly has been a turbulent year of laughing, crying, screaming, dancing, ecstatic bliss, letting go, deep loving and so much more and it ain't over yet....

Wow!!!!! Thank you Universe for all that I have been blessed to experience. Some of your messages were subtle, some totally in my face, Some, I still haven't figured out, but all I know is:

AKEHELA AHO! ALL IS GOOD, THANK YOU.

I know many of you are deeply worried about the state the world is in, but I invite you to to be observers, who observe with compassion and forgiveness rather than to get upset, judgemental and hopeless.

Mother Earth is a multi dimensional being expressing herself in a physical body. She could swallow us all up in one second if she wanted to. She knows exactly what she is doing and that is asking us to remember WHO WE TRULY ARE!

So stop polluting your mind with fear based news, predictions of doom and gloom, stop spreading negativity, because that makes you part of the problem. Stop looking on the outside for answers, stop blaming and shaming, stop making yourself small, because YOU ARE NOT SMALL! YOU ARE EVERYTHING! YOU ARE GOD/GODDESS and that makes everything possible for you, always.

What you are seeing out there is you being polluted inside, you are burning inside. Surely this is becoming unbearable by now. So WAKE UP to the eternal love that is your essence and shine as bright as the sun, so we can lift each other up and ALL RISE UP TOGETHER!

Phew, highly charged words. I know, but they wanted to come out. Please know that I love you very much wherever you are at in your journey.

I see you!

I have spent time in two of my favourite places for the last few months, Guatemala and New Zealand, and it was truly wonderful to be there with beautiful old and new friends.

However, after having lived in London for about 12 years this city still feels more like a home than anywhere else and that is mainly due to my beautiful soul family here. Thank you All. 

Once again I found myself in a position in the last two months mainly, where I felt completely detached from everything. Floating in empty space with the feeling that it would be quite easy to just disappear. This might sound slightly morbid and to be honest I came to that place at some point.  

A place of utter despair that I didn’t expect to find inside of me. This happened during a ceremony that I did in solitude and it truly did open my eyes to the collective suffering that we experience in the world right now.

I connected to the wound of separation that we all carry so deeply, the need for acknowledgement, the feeling of not being loved, the belief system that we have to achieve, that we have to “do” to be worthy and the list goes on.

I know myself pretty well by now and I am very aware of my wounding, have made peace with it and don’t judge myself for it. Or at least so I thought……

What became very clear during the ceremony in which there were no distractions, no need for me to hold space for anyone, no one to turn to…, was that I have not let go of the fears that I am so aware of such as: I find it quite difficult to be on my own, to just BE, to not “care ’for others, to not feel “useful”, to summarise, I guess you would say I want “to be seen” or “to be findable” and don’t know who I am when I don’t have this outside feedback.  Wow! It all came crashing down…..to a point where I would have quite happily dropped my body…..

Anyway, I haven’t and although I still feel shaken up slightly at the same time a new energy has come in. It is a little hard to describe it just yet. Mhmmmm……

It really is all about letting go, surrendering, not being attached to any outcome. Just living each moment with fullest awareness of it all! 

As many of you know I play a Chiron gong and resonate deeply with the message that Chiron has for us: 

“We all have wounds in this life. We all have things we cannot change and painful pasts that are hard to erase. Chiron encourages us to heal and work through these, but he also encourages us to consider our wounds as portals of power.

When we experience pain, heartache, and loss, that is when we open. It is when we are in these states that we experience pure vulnerability and pure openness. When our heart breaks our heart opens, and it is often through these experiences that we awaken and step into a new truth.” (From Forever Conscious) 

Yes, maybe I can say I stepped into a new truth, that which cannot be put into words.

I am looking forward to further share this truth with more empathy and humility during my offerings.

I have been called a “tough German cookie” by one of my teachers and I might come across like that sometimes, but believe me I really can relate to what many of us are going through.

One of my friends said to me years ago: “You are the biggest little girl I know” And I think that’s fitting for all of us (or little boy of course), right? Always, remember this when you see someone struggling. Be kind to yourself and each other in these challenging times! 

“The elders say we must let go of the shore.

Push off into the middle of the river,

Keep our eyes open and our heads above water.

And I say; see who is in there with you,

Hold fast to them and celebrate!” From the Hopi Prophecy

I am there with you!

Letting go of someone you love

I have worked with so many people, who told me about problems in their relationships and the big questions always seems to be:

When do we actually know it is time to end a relationship?

It is helpful to ask ourselves, what is our motivation to stay? It might be that we care so deeply about the other person, that it is hard to imagine a life without them. It could be a lack of courage, fear of being on our own, financial worries, a fear that suddenly our ex-partner will flourish and we wished we had stayed around to experience this.

There are so many reasons that hold us back from making that step and admitting to ourselves that we are not doing each other a favour by staying together. 

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves if we are happy in our relationship, do we feel supported, loved, inspired, desired and respected?

When things are not going too well then it is important not to blame, shame or feel guilty. It always takes two....

There might be a lingering feeling of failure, thinking we have wasted time. We put so much hope into this relationship. This is "the one"! And it surely was the one for a certain period of time.

As my teacher Keith Wilson says "you are always with the perfect lover"!

We have possibly been at points before where we had enough, but for one reason or the other we stayed together.
If things don't improve then feelings of resentment will creep in and you might think: I have done everything I could, I have been so patient, I have helped them to grow, I have forgiven over and over again....

But that's not the point, because they could possibly say exactly the same about you.

All there is to do is to say a big "Thank you", cry as many tears as you need to and wish them a wonderful future.

Remember you are never on your own, although you might feel incredibly lonely at times. And if you end up back on your friend's sofa for a little while, then that's ok, because that's what family is for.... 

In the not too distant future you will see the blessing in cutting the cords to this particular person. You might be quite shocked to see into how many unhelpful patterns you got whilst being with them. But that's ok, because we are here to experience it all! The whole spectrum of polarities.

Often you are brought together with a person, possibly your soul mate, in this life time once again to heal an unhealthy relationship that you might have had with them in a previous life. You are given another opportunity to empower yourself by letting go of this person you love.

Set them free and set yourself free even more importantly.

Use the high energies we are experiencing at this particular time on our planet to spread your wings and fly magical soul!

You are doing an amazing job at "pretending to be human".

It is exciting to live in a human form, but it is not always easy.

Don't forget there are plenty of souls around you who see you properly, they see your magic and remind you of who you truly are.  

Remember.......!!!! That ocean of love, which you are always connected to, but now there is also the "You" a cluster of consciousness with limitless opportunities to create, create, create! And that is the greatest gift anyone could ever receive.

So lift yourself out of your dramas by accessing a third consciousness that equally loves and embraces all polarities, seeing that they are all part of the One.

Weave a new story you beautiful creator. What would you like to experience? The best way to start is weaving a beautiful relationship with yourself. Treat yourself and your inner chid exactly how you wish to be treated. If old stories keep pulling you back into the drama then re-write them. 

Choose another time line by changing the way how you feel about a certain situation. Change your present and future by changing your past!

Take a deep breath and find yourself in a new empowered space, where more karmic bonds have been released.   

Stay in your heart my friend. This is where I see you and you see me... Properly!!!! We are One. 

And always remember:

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination!!!!!

A celebration of Spirit - of loving you.

The festive season is upon us and I would like to invite you, independent from what faith, religion or culture you associate with, to remember and celebrate your Spirit and the unique journey you are on in this time of "the new dawn".

The fact that you walk this Earth in human form right now means that your energy is invaluable for the great shift in consciousness, the ascension process, 2nd coming of Christ...

The light in many of us is increasing rapidly as the seeds, that Christ and other enlightened masters have sown are flourishing.

This process illuminates the darkness and brings up everything that is not in balance. Whilst things at the moment seem to be worse than ever, know that this is part of a great cleansing process, the "big purge" necessary for healing.

A "healed" Earth and 'healed' humanity means to me, that the feminine and masculine energies are in perfect balance. To contribute to this harmony we need to look at a possible imbalance within us. The masculine energy is focused, action oriented and manifests, whereas the feminine is like a vast ocean, nurturing and receptive. It is important to know ourselves well! Which one of those two energies is prominent in us and how can we bring them into unity. 

I personally have a lot of masculine energy, which helps me to get things done, manifest and lead others. Therefore it is important for me to remember to be patient, not force things to happen and to be receptive. I try to engage in activities that help me to connect to the Sacred Feminine such as working with female archetypes and the Goddesses that are associated with certain feminine qualities:

Mary Magdalene for unconditional love and sacred union
Isis for for Rebirth and sacred womb wisdom
Spider Woman for creation and weaving of new stories
(and there are so many more).

Balancing the chakras and residing in loving awareness in our hearts will help us to connect to our Spirit, enabling a direct connection to our soul and she will guide us.   

When I feel disconnected and unbalanced I call on my guides. All of us have a group of allies, that are at our service, some of them known, others unknown to us:
Archangels, Angels, Power Animals, Ascended Masters, Ancestors, Nature Spirits and the list goes on.

You can connect with them through shamanic journeying, ceremony, meditation, nature walks, art, music, plant medicine and prayer. Messages can come through images, feelings, knowing, audible messages and even a particular smell. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong way. Just make sure your rational mind is out of the picture here. Trust yourself!

Walk on this earth gently, lead by example, try to leave everyone you encounter in a happier place, share your wisdom and gifts and most importantly:

Be yourself. That's your only mission, which if accomplished will make a massive contribution to the energetic shift, that is happening on this planet right now. 

I wish you from the bottom of my heart a wonderful celebration of Spirit, of your magnificent self.

"All I ask of you is forever to remember you as loving you, loving you. Ishq Allah, Mabudh Lillah" (Sufi chant)

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination!!!!!

We are children of the Goddess (How to heal your Inner Child)

Over the years I have continued to give my power away to teachers, family members, my husband, friends and students by having certain expectations on them, mainly wanting them to give me acknowledgement and tell me that I am doing well, but also by being attached to certain outcomes. 

A deep seated need for appreciation from others has roots in feeling separated from God/Goddess in many life times/parallel Universes that are playing out right now. 
Asking for acknowledgement from the outside is a reflection of a lack of self love, thinking there is something wrong with me, that I am not enough, and that I am not lovable...

I increasingly see my own self-worth and magic. I know that I have unique gifts and talents just as everyone else has. And I now understand, that these gifts don’t have to be validated by anyone other than by myself. 

Additionally to that, if we work with people it is easy to fall into the trap of wanting to fix them, make them better and with that making ourselves feel better. Being attached to this outcome means that we make them wrong and don't love them unconditionally. 

How we can make the biggest difference is to accept people exactly where they are at, love them and don’t expect them to change in they way we think is right. If change is what they are looking for then it is their decision when to start and how they do it. Lead by example and through that show others their own magical light within. 

The main beautiful challenge we face is healing ourselves and the biggest part of this is to heal the relationship with our inner children. 

To let them know that they are very much loved and that they are perfect exactly as they are. Make them feel safe, so that they don't feel the need of controlling. Allow them to be completely present, play, be creative and express themselves in many ways.

Please know, that you are on your path, always have been and always will be!

Anyone who tells you otherwise might be projecting onto you and is attached to an outcome. So rather than feeling offended see this as a wonderful gift to empower yourself.

You have everything you need and you are exactly where you are meant to be on your journey. 

Find your tribe, spend time with people, who inspire you. But never underestimate your inner wisdom and find your own ways to connect to the Divine Mother, whose essence resides within you.

So more you realise this, so more you will be in your power, gracefully and with an open heart that's filled with trust and faith.

Life will become more joyful and effortless, opportunities will come up, doors will open and more and more magic will unfold....beyond your wildest imagination!

I invite you to choose to love yourself every moment a little bit more and sing from the bottom of your heart:

I am the Light of the Soul

I am bountiful
I am beautiful
I am blissful

I am, I am!!!!!

Shine bright, spread your wings and vibrate on the highest frequency of love.

"Let go of your attachments, let go of your confusion and fly to that space that’s beyond all illusion."  Shimshai 

And we will All be there, waiting for you with open arms.

We are the children of love, the children of the Goddess and I wish for all of us that we can be more accepting of each other, have loving relationship without competitiveness and celebrate each others’ successes.

AHO!!!!!!!!!!!

We are Beings of Light

This is easily said, but how much do we really believe and live this?

As children we are much more open to wonders and miracles. We are aware of our angels and light beings around us. We believe in magic, unicorns and fairies. There are no limits to our imagination. Everything seems possible.

What happened? Experiences we shared might have been ridiculed, we were not taken seriously. We were told off for making things up. Soon we were convinced that our imagination might have taken the better of us. We were brought up by humans who have forgotten who they truly are, they have forgotten their divinity.

It is time to connect to the light and wisdom in our hearts and expand in love rather than limit ourselves through fear. It is then that we will be filled with divine grace.

What helps us to remember is a daily spiritual practice, a routine, maybe rituals such as a daily prayer. Through tuning into this vast potential and communicating with it we can reclaim our True Self, the Sat Nam.

We live in times of change shifting into a new consciousness.
It is important to access our own inner light, trust that we are guided and that everything will be provided – always!  All we need to make this shift, resides in our own awareness of ourselves as Beings of Light.

Be patient with yourself, embrace challenges, love and be kind to yourself and others and accept what is happening now. Follow the Divine spark within your heart and feel the connection between you and all of creation. Once you embrace your own Divinity, you will discover that you are here for a greater reason.

Achieve an experience of God
One example to help you reclaim your truth is this meditation. Why not give it a go?

Mantra
 

Lyrics for Rakhay Rakhanhaar:

Rakhay rakhanhaar aap ubaariun
Gur kee pairee paa-eh kaaj savaariun
Hoaa aap dayaal manho na visaariun
Saadh janaa kai sung bhavjal taariun
Saakat nindak dusht khin maa-eh bidaariun
Tis saahib kee tayk naanak manai maa-eh
Jis simrat sukh ho-eh saglay dookh jaa-eh

"These are the words of Guru Arjan, the 5th Sikh Guru, and are for complete protection. It is from the evening prayer (Rehiras), which adds energy to one’s being, and helps when you are physically weak or have limited wealth. It is a victory song which allows us to be guided by God’s graceful and merciful hand. It does away with the obstacles to fulfilling one’s destiny.

Chanting this mantra helps against fluctuations of the mind.  This mantra is included in the Aquarian Sadhana and is done as a part of the daily practice in the morning meditations for Kundalini Yoga practitioners." www.spirityoyage.com

Now go and shine your beautiful light. It is your gift to humanity. Love to All 

Choose LOVE not Fear

Walk strong and open heartedly on your spiritual path, receptive to being divinely guided every step of your way.

I feel strongly that all of us have the potential to be light workers and help others to shine their light through embracing and using our unique gifts and talents. That doesn't mean that we have to be spiritual teachers, yoga teachers etc, but we can inspire others through our words, actions, art, leading by example, being kind etc.
All of us can make a massive contribution to increase the vibration of humanity and the planet by simply starting to accept and love ourselves.

This love will have a ripple effect, affecting those people close to us and they will affect people close to them. So rather than blaming others for the state the world is in, let's take shared responsibility as we all have created this reality together.

It is time to choose love over fear and feed and nurture this love through smiles, random acts of kindness, spreading positive news, being of service and there is so much more that will help LOVE to grow.

Remember that all your efforts are seen, so don't be disheartened when you don't get an instant acknowledgement or appreciation.

Think about what or who has inspired you to make positive changes in your life and share this with others. Maybe think about getting involved in community projects or setting up your own meetup groups. Choosing love also means to choose connectedness rather than separation. Engaging with others and sharing our experiences is the most wonderful and powerful thing we can do.

Especially if we have lost ourselves and with that our self-confidence, coming together in groups with like minded people will help us to see our beauty and our wisdom and show us how much we have to share with others.

What we all have in common is that a spark has been ignited, we have been activated, we have remembered our soul and divine aspect. Once that has happened there is no going back! So best now is to go with the flow and let go of those old patterns and belief systems. And that can be scary!!!! But you have the hearts of spiritual warriors and with that the courage to truly trust and fully embrace your divine mission.

Remember to keep the balance and check in with yourself on a regular basis. Friends are always good at spotting what's going on for you especially when you can't see the forest for the trees..... It does happen. I know that well (-;
The ego is still there, ready to jump into action. So be aware of that and remind yourself what the aim of all your efforts is. What is your life mission?

My mission is to live a healthy and happy life, to spread the message of pure divine love and help others to find their light.

It took me some time to come to this realisation and I am doing my best, but of course there are days when fear has a strong grip over me and I find it difficult to choose love. So, don't get frustrated. The only failure in life is when you give up your efforts. AHO!!!!!!!!!

How to create a peaceful world

In these challenging times, it is more important than ever that we find our inner peace in order to project outer peace. Peaceful minds lead to peaceful speech and peaceful action. Everything is interconnected in the web of life and so are the minds of all living beings. Each being has a transmitting as well as receiving station. Even the most insignificant thoughts in our own mind have an effect on other beings.

Peace in our times requires that we move from a world of separation and disconnection to one of inclusiveness, healing and forgiveness - a world of justice.

The restoration of sacred relationships within ourselves, with others and the web of life will move us from fear and revenge to love and compassion.

Lets concentrate on putting our minds at peace so that we can broadcast peace mentally and generate peace through actions. Peace can be brought to the world one thought at the time in the minds of each one of us. And remember: All life is sacred! 

The interconnectedness of the web of life is so much more tangible when we spend time in nature than in our man-made environments. Unconsciously we imprison ourselves by disconnecting from spirit. The Shamans would call this soul loss. We fail to see the bigger picture or divine order whilst feeling separated and finite, which leads to a fear based life of loss and scarcity.

In order to expand in love and live an abundant and happy life, we have to connect with ourselves and others in a compassionate way, have patience and the courage to try new things without fearing failure. We have to forgive ourselves for what we think we have done wrong and forgive others for what we think they have done to us. Find a daily spiritual practice, that suits you and keep it up. According to the Dalai Lama, the main purpose in life is to seek happiness and that's that!

"Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself." Chief Seattle