I see you!

I have spent time in two of my favourite places for the last few months, Guatemala and New Zealand, and it was truly wonderful to be there with beautiful old and new friends.

However, after having lived in London for about 12 years this city still feels more like a home than anywhere else and that is mainly due to my beautiful soul family here. Thank you All. 

Once again I found myself in a position in the last two months mainly, where I felt completely detached from everything. Floating in empty space with the feeling that it would be quite easy to just disappear. This might sound slightly morbid and to be honest I came to that place at some point.  

A place of utter despair that I didn’t expect to find inside of me. This happened during a ceremony that I did in solitude and it truly did open my eyes to the collective suffering that we experience in the world right now.

I connected to the wound of separation that we all carry so deeply, the need for acknowledgement, the feeling of not being loved, the belief system that we have to achieve, that we have to “do” to be worthy and the list goes on.

I know myself pretty well by now and I am very aware of my wounding, have made peace with it and don’t judge myself for it. Or at least so I thought……

What became very clear during the ceremony in which there were no distractions, no need for me to hold space for anyone, no one to turn to…, was that I have not let go of the fears that I am so aware of such as: I find it quite difficult to be on my own, to just BE, to not “care ’for others, to not feel “useful”, to summarise, I guess you would say I want “to be seen” or “to be findable” and don’t know who I am when I don’t have this outside feedback.  Wow! It all came crashing down…..to a point where I would have quite happily dropped my body…..

Anyway, I haven’t and although I still feel shaken up slightly at the same time a new energy has come in. It is a little hard to describe it just yet. Mhmmmm……

It really is all about letting go, surrendering, not being attached to any outcome. Just living each moment with fullest awareness of it all! 

As many of you know I play a Chiron gong and resonate deeply with the message that Chiron has for us: 

“We all have wounds in this life. We all have things we cannot change and painful pasts that are hard to erase. Chiron encourages us to heal and work through these, but he also encourages us to consider our wounds as portals of power.

When we experience pain, heartache, and loss, that is when we open. It is when we are in these states that we experience pure vulnerability and pure openness. When our heart breaks our heart opens, and it is often through these experiences that we awaken and step into a new truth.” (From Forever Conscious) 

Yes, maybe I can say I stepped into a new truth, that which cannot be put into words.

I am looking forward to further share this truth with more empathy and humility during my offerings.

I have been called a “tough German cookie” by one of my teachers and I might come across like that sometimes, but believe me I really can relate to what many of us are going through.

One of my friends said to me years ago: “You are the biggest little girl I know” And I think that’s fitting for all of us (or little boy of course), right? Always, remember this when you see someone struggling. Be kind to yourself and each other in these challenging times! 

“The elders say we must let go of the shore.

Push off into the middle of the river,

Keep our eyes open and our heads above water.

And I say; see who is in there with you,

Hold fast to them and celebrate!” From the Hopi Prophecy

I am there with you!

Letting go of someone you love

I have worked with so many people, who told me about problems in their relationships and the big questions always seems to be:

When do we actually know it is time to end a relationship?

It is helpful to ask ourselves, what is our motivation to stay? It might be that we care so deeply about the other person, that it is hard to imagine a life without them. It could be a lack of courage, fear of being on our own, financial worries, a fear that suddenly our ex-partner will flourish and we wished we had stayed around to experience this.

There are so many reasons that hold us back from making that step and admitting to ourselves that we are not doing each other a favour by staying together. 

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves if we are happy in our relationship, do we feel supported, loved, inspired, desired and respected?

When things are not going too well then it is important not to blame, shame or feel guilty. It always takes two....

There might be a lingering feeling of failure, thinking we have wasted time. We put so much hope into this relationship. This is "the one"! And it surely was the one for a certain period of time.

As my teacher Keith Wilson says "you are always with the perfect lover"!

We have possibly been at points before where we had enough, but for one reason or the other we stayed together.
If things don't improve then feelings of resentment will creep in and you might think: I have done everything I could, I have been so patient, I have helped them to grow, I have forgiven over and over again....

But that's not the point, because they could possibly say exactly the same about you.

All there is to do is to say a big "Thank you", cry as many tears as you need to and wish them a wonderful future.

Remember you are never on your own, although you might feel incredibly lonely at times. And if you end up back on your friend's sofa for a little while, then that's ok, because that's what family is for.... 

In the not too distant future you will see the blessing in cutting the cords to this particular person. You might be quite shocked to see into how many unhelpful patterns you got whilst being with them. But that's ok, because we are here to experience it all! The whole spectrum of polarities.

Often you are brought together with a person, possibly your soul mate, in this life time once again to heal an unhealthy relationship that you might have had with them in a previous life. You are given another opportunity to empower yourself by letting go of this person you love.

Set them free and set yourself free even more importantly.

Use the high energies we are experiencing at this particular time on our planet to spread your wings and fly magical soul!

You are doing an amazing job at "pretending to be human".

It is exciting to live in a human form, but it is not always easy.

Don't forget there are plenty of souls around you who see you properly, they see your magic and remind you of who you truly are.  

Remember.......!!!! That ocean of love, which you are always connected to, but now there is also the "You" a cluster of consciousness with limitless opportunities to create, create, create! And that is the greatest gift anyone could ever receive.

So lift yourself out of your dramas by accessing a third consciousness that equally loves and embraces all polarities, seeing that they are all part of the One.

Weave a new story you beautiful creator. What would you like to experience? The best way to start is weaving a beautiful relationship with yourself. Treat yourself and your inner chid exactly how you wish to be treated. If old stories keep pulling you back into the drama then re-write them. 

Choose another time line by changing the way how you feel about a certain situation. Change your present and future by changing your past!

Take a deep breath and find yourself in a new empowered space, where more karmic bonds have been released.   

Stay in your heart my friend. This is where I see you and you see me... Properly!!!! We are One. 

And always remember:

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination!!!!!

A celebration of Spirit - of loving you.

The festive season is upon us and I would like to invite you, independent from what faith, religion or culture you associate with, to remember and celebrate your Spirit and the unique journey you are on in this time of "the new dawn".

The fact that you walk this Earth in human form right now means that your energy is invaluable for the great shift in consciousness, the ascension process, 2nd coming of Christ...

The light in many of us is increasing rapidly as the seeds, that Christ and other enlightened masters have sown are flourishing.

This process illuminates the darkness and brings up everything that is not in balance. Whilst things at the moment seem to be worse than ever, know that this is part of a great cleansing process, the "big purge" necessary for healing.

A "healed" Earth and 'healed' humanity means to me, that the feminine and masculine energies are in perfect balance. To contribute to this harmony we need to look at a possible imbalance within us. The masculine energy is focused, action oriented and manifests, whereas the feminine is like a vast ocean, nurturing and receptive. It is important to know ourselves well! Which one of those two energies is prominent in us and how can we bring them into unity. 

I personally have a lot of masculine energy, which helps me to get things done, manifest and lead others. Therefore it is important for me to remember to be patient, not force things to happen and to be receptive. I try to engage in activities that help me to connect to the Sacred Feminine such as working with female archetypes and the Goddesses that are associated with certain feminine qualities:

Mary Magdalene for unconditional love and sacred union
Isis for for Rebirth and sacred womb wisdom
Spider Woman for creation and weaving of new stories
(and there are so many more).

Balancing the chakras and residing in loving awareness in our hearts will help us to connect to our Spirit, enabling a direct connection to our soul and she will guide us.   

When I feel disconnected and unbalanced I call on my guides. All of us have a group of allies, that are at our service, some of them known, others unknown to us:
Archangels, Angels, Power Animals, Ascended Masters, Ancestors, Nature Spirits and the list goes on.

You can connect with them through shamanic journeying, ceremony, meditation, nature walks, art, music, plant medicine and prayer. Messages can come through images, feelings, knowing, audible messages and even a particular smell. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong way. Just make sure your rational mind is out of the picture here. Trust yourself!

Walk on this earth gently, lead by example, try to leave everyone you encounter in a happier place, share your wisdom and gifts and most importantly:

Be yourself. That's your only mission, which if accomplished will make a massive contribution to the energetic shift, that is happening on this planet right now. 

I wish you from the bottom of my heart a wonderful celebration of Spirit, of your magnificent self.

"All I ask of you is forever to remember you as loving you, loving you. Ishq Allah, Mabudh Lillah" (Sufi chant)

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination!!!!!

We are children of the Goddess (How to heal your Inner Child)

Over the years I have continued to give my power away to teachers, family members, my husband, friends and students by having certain expectations on them, mainly wanting them to give me acknowledgement and tell me that I am doing well, but also by being attached to certain outcomes. 

A deep seated need for appreciation from others has roots in feeling separated from God/Goddess in many life times/parallel Universes that are playing out right now. 
Asking for acknowledgement from the outside is a reflection of a lack of self love, thinking there is something wrong with me, that I am not enough, and that I am not lovable...

I increasingly see my own self-worth and magic. I know that I have unique gifts and talents just as everyone else has. And I now understand, that these gifts don’t have to be validated by anyone other than by myself. 

Additionally to that, if we work with people it is easy to fall into the trap of wanting to fix them, make them better and with that making ourselves feel better. Being attached to this outcome means that we make them wrong and don't love them unconditionally. 

How we can make the biggest difference is to accept people exactly where they are at, love them and don’t expect them to change in they way we think is right. If change is what they are looking for then it is their decision when to start and how they do it. Lead by example and through that show others their own magical light within. 

The main beautiful challenge we face is healing ourselves and the biggest part of this is to heal the relationship with our inner children. 

To let them know that they are very much loved and that they are perfect exactly as they are. Make them feel safe, so that they don't feel the need of controlling. Allow them to be completely present, play, be creative and express themselves in many ways.

Please know, that you are on your path, always have been and always will be!

Anyone who tells you otherwise might be projecting onto you and is attached to an outcome. So rather than feeling offended see this as a wonderful gift to empower yourself.

You have everything you need and you are exactly where you are meant to be on your journey. 

Find your tribe, spend time with people, who inspire you. But never underestimate your inner wisdom and find your own ways to connect to the Divine Mother, whose essence resides within you.

So more you realise this, so more you will be in your power, gracefully and with an open heart that's filled with trust and faith.

Life will become more joyful and effortless, opportunities will come up, doors will open and more and more magic will unfold....beyond your wildest imagination!

I invite you to choose to love yourself every moment a little bit more and sing from the bottom of your heart:

I am the Light of the Soul

I am bountiful
I am beautiful
I am blissful

I am, I am!!!!!

Shine bright, spread your wings and vibrate on the highest frequency of love.

"Let go of your attachments, let go of your confusion and fly to that space that’s beyond all illusion."  Shimshai 

And we will All be there, waiting for you with open arms.

We are the children of love, the children of the Goddess and I wish for all of us that we can be more accepting of each other, have loving relationship without competitiveness and celebrate each others’ successes.

AHO!!!!!!!!!!!

We are Beings of Light

This is easily said, but how much do we really believe and live this?

As children we are much more open to wonders and miracles. We are aware of our angels and light beings around us. We believe in magic, unicorns and fairies. There are no limits to our imagination. Everything seems possible.

What happened? Experiences we shared might have been ridiculed, we were not taken seriously. We were told off for making things up. Soon we were convinced that our imagination might have taken the better of us. We were brought up by humans who have forgotten who they truly are, they have forgotten their divinity.

It is time to connect to the light and wisdom in our hearts and expand in love rather than limit ourselves through fear. It is then that we will be filled with divine grace.

What helps us to remember is a daily spiritual practice, a routine, maybe rituals such as a daily prayer. Through tuning into this vast potential and communicating with it we can reclaim our True Self, the Sat Nam.

We live in times of change shifting into a new consciousness.
It is important to access our own inner light, trust that we are guided and that everything will be provided – always!  All we need to make this shift, resides in our own awareness of ourselves as Beings of Light.

Be patient with yourself, embrace challenges, love and be kind to yourself and others and accept what is happening now. Follow the Divine spark within your heart and feel the connection between you and all of creation. Once you embrace your own Divinity, you will discover that you are here for a greater reason.

Achieve an experience of God
One example to help you reclaim your truth is this meditation. Why not give it a go?

Mantra
 

Lyrics for Rakhay Rakhanhaar:

Rakhay rakhanhaar aap ubaariun
Gur kee pairee paa-eh kaaj savaariun
Hoaa aap dayaal manho na visaariun
Saadh janaa kai sung bhavjal taariun
Saakat nindak dusht khin maa-eh bidaariun
Tis saahib kee tayk naanak manai maa-eh
Jis simrat sukh ho-eh saglay dookh jaa-eh


"These are the words of Guru Arjan, the 5th Sikh Guru, and are for complete protection. It is from the evening prayer (Rehiras), which adds energy to one’s being, and helps when you are physically weak or have limited wealth. It is a victory song which allows us to be guided by God’s graceful and merciful hand. It does away with the obstacles to fulfilling one’s destiny.

Chanting this mantra helps against fluctuations of the mind.  This mantra is included in the Aquarian Sadhana and is done as a part of the daily practice in the morning meditations for Kundalini Yoga practitioners." www.spirityoyage.com

Now go and shine your beautiful light. It is your gift to humanity. Love to All 

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Choose LOVE not Fear

Walk strong and open heartedly on your spiritual path, receptive to being divinely guided every step of your way.

I feel strongly that all of us have the potential to be light workers and help others to shine their light through embracing and using our unique gifts and talents. That doesn't mean that we have to be spiritual teachers, yoga teachers etc, but we can inspire others through our words, actions, art, leading by example, being kind etc.
All of us can make a massive contribution to increase the vibration of humanity and the planet by simply starting to accept and love ourselves.

This love will have a ripple effect, affecting those people close to us and they will affect people close to them. So rather than blaming others for the state the world is in, let's take shared responsibility as we all have created this reality together.

It is time to choose love over fear and feed and nurture this love through smiles, random acts of kindness, spreading positive news, being of service and there is so much more that will help LOVE to grow.

Remember that all your efforts are seen, so don't be disheartened when you don't get an instant acknowledgement or appreciation.

Think about what or who has inspired you to make positive changes in your life and share this with others. Maybe think about getting involved in community projects or setting up your own meetup groups. Choosing love also means to choose connectedness rather than separation. Engaging with others and sharing our experiences is the most wonderful and powerful thing we can do.

Especially if we have lost ourselves and with that our self-confidence, coming together in groups with like minded people will help us to see our beauty and our wisdom and show us how much we have to share with others.

What we all have in common is that a spark has been ignited, we have been activated, we have remembered our soul and divine aspect. Once that has happened there is no going back! So best now is to go with the flow and let go of those old patterns and belief systems. And that can be scary!!!! But you have the hearts of spiritual warriors and with that the courage to truly trust and fully embrace your divine mission.

Remember to keep the balance and check in with yourself on a regular basis. Friends are always good at spotting what's going on for you especially when you can't see the forest for the trees..... It does happen. I know that well (-;
The ego is still there, ready to jump into action. So be aware of that and remind yourself what the aim of all your efforts is. What is your life mission?

My mission is to live a healthy and happy life, to spread the message of pure divine love and help others to find their light.

It took me some time to come to this realisation and I am doing my best, but of course there are days when fear has a strong grip over me and I find it difficult to choose love. So, don't get frustrated. The only failure in life is when you give up your efforts. AHO!!!!!!!!!

How to create a peaceful world

 

In these challenging times, it is more important than ever that we find our inner peace in order to project outer peace. Peaceful minds lead to peaceful speech and peaceful action. Everything is interconnected in the web of life and so are the minds of all living beings. Each being has a transmitting as well as receiving station. Even the most insignificant thoughts in our own mind have an effect on other beings.

Peace in our times requires that we move from a world of separation and disconnection to one of inclusiveness, healing and forgiveness - a world of justice.

The restoration of sacred relationships within ourselves, with others and the web of life will move us from fear and revenge to love and compassion.

Lets concentrate on putting our minds at peace so that we can broadcast peace mentally and generate peace through actions. Peace can be brought to the world one thought at the time in the minds of each one of us. And remember: All life is sacred! 

The interconnectedness of the web of life is so much more tangible when we spend time in nature than in our man-made environments. Unconsciously we imprison ourselves by disconnecting from spirit. The Shamans would call this soul loss. We fail to see the bigger picture or divine order whilst feeling separated and finite, which leads to a fear based life of loss and scarcity.

In order to expand in love and live an abundant and happy life, we have to connect with ourselves and others in a compassionate way, have patience and the courage to try new things without fearing failure. We have to forgive ourselves for what we think we have done wrong and forgive others for what we think they have done to us. Find a daily spiritual practice, that suits you and keep it up. According to the Dalai Lama, the main purpose in life is to seek happiness and that's that!

"Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself." Chief Seattle

 

Shamanic Cacao Ceremonies to give you the Heart of a Spiritual Warrior

What is a Shamanic Cacao Ceremony?

I have facilitated cacao ceremonies since 2015 and so more I work with this sacred plant medicine from the rain forest in Guatemala and Colombia, so more I respect the healing power of it. I learned from Rebekah Shaman in London, Keith Wilson and Isaiaz Sajvin in Guatemala and Regina Cardenas in Mexico, who have all done an incredible job in spreading the use of ceremonial cacao all over the world.

At the moment I use cacao from Colombia grown by local farmers, which is unprocessed, unsweetened, just whole cacao beans that are carefully fermented, lightly roasted, conched and moulded into easy to use 10 gram cubes. That means that it still has all the goodies (cacao liqueur) in it, that we don't usually find in chocolate, that is available in health food stores.  As a ceremonial dose I use 40 grams of cacao with 250 ml of water. Chillie can be added individually.

Ceremonial cacao contains a number of vitamins, minerals and 40 times more antioxidants than blueberries. It is especially high in iron, magnesium and calcium and leads to a release of endorphins. It contains only a small amount of caffeine, but will still give you a burst of energy, that will help you to focus and improve your memory.

Cacao is considered to be the best creativity enhancer as well as facilitator of deep inner work and is used by authors, artists, yoga and meditation teachers, dance therapists, tantric practitioners and the list goes on. It is also becoming more popular in corporate environments.

It is recommended to drink cacao on a daily basis (as a hot chocolate or in a smoothie), especially if you suffer from depression, high blood pressure or skin problems. It is a great and much healthier alternative to coffee.

On a more spiritual level cacao is said to help us re-connect with nature and the the earth in general, teaching us how to live in harmony with her, seeing the bigger picture and not getting caught up in dramas and low levels of bickering.

I use cacao in Shamanic ceremonies enhanced through sound (sacred gong, drums, singing bowls and my voice) to help people open their hearts and look at situations in their lives with more compassion and forgiveness. This will help them to change their perspective, release energetic blockages, let go of fears, attachments and negative habits.

My ceremonies typically involve bonding exercises for the members of the group, intention setting, a seated meditation, a guided meditation lying down, sound healing as well as a group sharing at the end.

Although this sounds like quite an intense process, and it is, I find that cacao ceremonies are a great introduction into healing work due to the gentle energy of the plant and also the support you receive from the group.
Working with cacao can help to release feelings of guilt, shame, fear, not being good enough etc. You decide if you are ready to let go and the cacao will take you where you need to go. And if you are not ready yet to let go of old belief systems and emotional patterns then that is also ok. Maybe just listening to other peoples' stories will help you to make changes in your lives.

The aim of a cacao ceremony is to empower you to release that what doesn't serve you any longer and help you see and re-connect with what is truly important in your life. To live your life with a courageous heart.

Cacao compared to other plant medicines is easy to integrate. With cacao we can laugh, sing, dance, be creative, think, do yoga etc. and most importantly be joyful and feel uplifted.

 

What I have learned... Relationship Insights

I have recently moved permanently to Auckland, NZ with my husband Kris.

If you are a regular reader of this blog (thank you for that (-:) you may have gathered that my husband and I separated in April last year and following that I went through quite a difficult time whilst travelling in South – and Central America.

After a lot of soul searching on both sides we decided in December last year to re-unite. With me being in Sri Lanka and London and him in NZ and then LA, we managed to spend some time together. I visited him in NZ and fell in love with the country and more importantly I fell in love with my husband again. We decided to move to this magical land of wonders.
My visa has now been approved and I will join Kris tomorrow in NZ for our new beginning.

Being in Bali on my own has been a beautiful opportunity to reflect, rejuvenate and “plot” for the new beginning that lays ahead of me.

What I have learned from the breakup is the following. Obviously everyone’s experience is different, but if this is in any way helpful to some of you, then Wahe Guru (-:

– if there is love between you, then you can make it work!
– Focus on all the things that go well, that you appreciate about each other, that make you happy in the relationship
– Remind yourself why you fell in love with this person in the first place
– You will never 100 % understand them and neither will they understand you and that’s absolutely fine
– Accept and start loving their little quirks, rather than letting them annoy you
– Always be grateful for their presence, their actions, for them challenging you. They might just turn out to be your greatest teacher
– We tend to project our insecurities, doubts and fears onto our partners – they are mirrors to us
– Be your own person. Don’t expect them to be your Happiness Delivery Man or Woman
– Be patient
– Be kind and compassionate (especially to yourself)

And you can never go wrong with the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don’t take anything personally
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your Best

Source (Totlec Spirit)

If you are on a spiritual path (like we all are anyway….), but let’s say you started a Yoga Teacher Training, got involved in Plant Medicine etc and feel like your partner doesn’t understand you at all anymore, they are not “spiritual” enough, they hold you back and so on, then try to give them time.

Suddenly you are making those massive changes in your life and expect your partner to move at the the same speed. It is not going to happen!

So, my advice is, don’t make any quick decisions, but rather ask them to be patient with you and explain to them, what you are experiencing. Also, don’t bully them into joining your practice. They are on their own journey and moving at their own pace.
Just focus on yourself and your learning. Remember that we tend to project our fears and insecurities!

Be grateful that they are in your life. After all you have attracted them into it for a reason. Be grateful for them helping you to stay grounded, as otherwise you might just float of somewhere, lose yourself completely …..

Obviously if you really don’t get on anymore, you find yourself sabotaging each other and find yourself being resentful, then it might be time for a little break in order to re-evaluate your relationship and to see things from a different perspective.

We want a relationship to last forever, but who can promise that in 5 years time we still feel the same about each other. And that’s ok as well. Everything changes – always!

So rather than blaming, shaming and guilt- tripping find a way to separate amicably and express your gratitude for the time you had together. If the other person doesn’t respond well to that, then try not to react, but send them love. They are hurt and can’t see beyond their pain.

Keep doing your work, but don’t become fanatic about it. Otherwise you might just have gotten yourself a new attachment. And always remember the first rule of Spirituality: Don’t take yourself too seriously, please!!!!!

Be authentic and honest with yourself and the people around you. You will find your own happiness and if there is someone to share it with, then that’s wonderful.

You are beautiful, bountiful and blissful and you are loved beyond your imagination. AHO ❤️